I want to protect myself from rejection. Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously feel unworthy of a great guy. The only one who can change this, is you. I would push and drive for more time and attention with him but as the time grew progressively longer between visits, it got more awkward and I didn't like what I was getting. But, the truth of it is that a lot of the mystery will go away once you start to get to know someone. I push and push and chase and the second they admit to liking me I freak out and push them away. I need a relationship counselor or something. You like the chase and validation of meeting new people and winning them over, and lose interest once you know someone likes you This point is similar to the last. If you can trace back his behaviour to an outside source that has nothing to do with you or your relationship, chances are he’s just having an off day, or week, or month. Guys, How much do looks really matter in a long term relationship? Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. most obvious one is: you are a challenge loving person now, how it matters, is when someone likes you back, it seems to you that you have nothing to conquer and you lose interest other reasons derive from that obvious one your curiosity dies (you loved to talk and … I try to tell myself I’m happy but it doesn’t work. I have kinda experienced this too. 1. The problem’s definitely with me. I still don't know how to fix it. Duh… It means: I like you and yes I would like to be liked by you as well. Follow these 6 steps when you feel like a guy is losing or has totally lost interest, and follow them all the time for better relationships in general. I'm just gonna put this out there, it's like how my parents separated when I was little and I only got to see my dad a couple times a year. I think maybe you might like the mystery of a guy, and once this is gone you feel disappointed...almost as if you don't want to figure him out. It’s a vicious cycle. I love the uncertainty: will he like me or won’t he? I’m like a dog who chases an ambulance. DMCA Policy Why do I always lose interest once a guy likes me. I feel the same way! If you were given to choose between a red pill and a blue pill, which would you choose? But there’s more you need to know. I ran away when the guys (who I'm interested) start showing interest in me. Some people say that I just haven't found my true love. He’s not losing interest, but if you continue with this mindset of worrying, you actually end up giving off a negative vibe. Whether you have been seeing a guy for two months or dating someone for three years, when a man starts to lose interest in you, it can be absolutely devastating. Then once they’re right in front of me on a first date, the excitement is gone. When I have feelings for a guy, once he comes onto me I immediately lose interest. I watch him from afar and try to find new ways to talk to him. sigh. The minute things start to seem like they could be more is the minute we begin to freak the fuck out. I start out completely smitten. Thanks for your input. When the guy’s in my head, I can enjoy the fantasy of dating him. I’ve realized that I really love the chase because it’s so fun and exciting. Does he sound a bit arrogant when he talks about his career? If you’re wondering why she suddenly lost interest in you, I have some of the reasons why. In your opinion how will the society continue to develop. And of course, people seem so much more attractive when we think they don’t want us. Just saying. Your mood is #1 most important factor in determining your vibe. I have had this a few times, that I lose interest in a guy when they start liking me back. It’s not like the guy has completely changed since I started liking him. Now, I don’t know exactly what was going on in your particular situation, Sheila, since I wasn’t there. We may see this as shyness, or discontent with life. Either way you don't want or aren't ready for a relationship. I mean, this isn't like a switch I can just flip back on when it goes off, as much as I would like that. Even if I used to like them so much, and when they finally asked me to become their girlfriend, I chose to say "no" coz felt uncomfortable. Jesse Kahn, LCSW, the director and supervisor of The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Collective in New York, told Refinery 29 "when a relationship becomes more intimate, it becomes more vulnerable, and [people] can become more easily hurt.". It always leaves some bad blood between them and I so I try to avoid it. I hate it :(. In some cases, your sudden loss of interest in your partner could be the result of your discovering you both have different values or goals. I think part of me is attracted to what I can’t have. I find guys so much more attractive and appealing when they’re out of reach. Everything you said is true !But admittedly, what sparked me to ask the question in the first place was that I already tried upping my standards (and I have pretty high ones to begin with, to be honest.) I seem to like pursuing men and seeing if I can attract them, but the minute they seem to like me as well I suddenly feel turned off and even uncomfortable by them. If I like you and want to be liked by you, that does not automatically mean I’m phantasizing a future with you. I'd certainly like to have a serious intimate relationship with someone, which is why I feel so upset when I realize I no longer want anything to do with a person who likes me back. This time around, their ratings were much more similar to the participants’ average scores. It's nice to be able to have chats with him about school once in a while. If I’m feeling neutral about him, it’s a nice change of pace and probably much healthier. You would rather him perhaps hint at it slightly rather than come out and say it. Does he seem a bit too interested? He's there wherever I see him, and he's coming on a little too strong. Even so, it's the only part of relationships I seem to like ! I put so much energy into the guy I’m crushing over in an attempt to get his attention and make him want me. When they come onto you, it seems too simple...so maybe they aren't as special as you thought they were. I SUDDENLY lose all my interest and I want to back off. Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way. It is refreshing to hear that many people are like this. in that case your jokes suck.and yes, some people can answer questions about other people's state of mind.it's called empathy. Many of us like the chase, and once that’s over, we lose interest. The first date totally tanks. They then were shown how the other women in the study rated the guys before being asked to rate the guys again. I often wonder if I like unavailable guys because I just don’t feel like I’m worthy of getting Mr. People suffering from clinical depression lose interest in hobbies, friends, work, and even food and sex . Do you want her? I hope this article gave you clarity on exactly what to do when it seems like your guy is losing interest. Why does it seem that no guy likes me unless I don’t want them? And of course, people seem so much more attractive when we think they don’t want us. Why did he lose interest once I showed mine? Sometimes I can’t help but want the fairytale of love. That is normal. Often when we lose interest in someone who likes us back, it is because deep within us is a doubt about our worthiness, a lack of acceptance or a feeling of non-approval or even shame about who we are. Someone gradually losing interest in you is basically the most painful thing that can happen in a relationship. I’ve battled with low confidence in the past, especially when it comes to dating, so perhaps that’s really the problem. 10. I love the chase. Perfect. you lose respect for a guy when he becomes lovey dovey for you.. . I can be whoever I want to be. It seems like when someone shows a lot of enthusiasm and interest in being with a person, it is a sign that the relationship has the potential to progress. Where you have feelings for them again. The answer you gave me was pointless.And English isn't written with hyphens between each word. May be I just like living in fantasy and the reality isn't fun to me. I know my change in feelings has nothing to do with him. Your behavior with men sounds a LOT like mine.I also agree with you that our childhoods definitely influence romantic behaviors/preferences we have as adults. related: Tips To Improve Your Relationship Right Now. So if you feel like there's a pattern of people you're dating losing interest, maybe it's time to look inward, but remember that there are so many reasons things can happen. I love anticipating romance and figuring out how to get closer to a guy. They were so interesting from afar, but then when I got to know and date them I was just like, “What the hell was I thinking?” It’s very different to like a guy from a distance compared to dealing with him on a daily basis in a relationship. Did he always have such as weird mouth? "Hey, Don't Ignore Me!" He seemed to like you before, but now he's less enthusiastic, and you'd like to get his attention back … I prefer the fairytale. You have unrealistic expectations for how interested you should be in new friends Just click here…. I like a guy when he's polite and nice to me, and when he keeps a distance from me. And when I look back, I can see it correlated with the way I reacted to boys around me. Obviously during this time, I assume that if/when I actually get to date him, my feelings for him would continue or intensify since I’ll actually get to know him and we’ll form a close personal bond. But as soon as he likes me back, he suddenly becomes very clingy and wants to talk to me all the time. If you’re not exclusive with someone and find yourself chasing, you need to quit it. It will focus on friendships, but many of the explanations can also apply to romantic relationships. Terms of Service, I Lose Interest In Guys I Like Once They’re Interested In Me & I Don’t Know Why, 14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation, They Might Not Seem Like It, But These 12 Things Are Emotional Abuse, 17 Life Struggles Of Women Who Are Naturally Loud, You Know You’re In An Almost Relationship If You’re Sending Him These Texts, I Didn’t Understand Why I Kept Ending Up With Toxic Guys Until I Realized These Important Things, Your Drunk Self Is Your Truest Self, Science Says, 12 Reasons You’re Single Even Though You’re A Catch, What’s Your Hottest Quality? Good luck! So should I start taking charge and making an effort to plan what we do more and should I start telling her "no" more. I hear what you're saying about karma though, I'm sure I probably pushed away some really great guys in the past, and that's not a great feeling. Then they move on to another goal. I've pushed away quite a few men this way and I wonder why exactly I do this. The question is, what are the eight biggest offenders that make men lose interest? Duh… It means: I like you and yes I would like to be liked by you as well. Losing interest in a partner can be just as difficult a loss as realizing that your partner isn't involved in the relationship anymore. I try to believe that the meh feeling I’m experiencing is a good thing. You like this and begin to feel something back for them. This article will list of a bunch of possible reasons you may be losing interest in people faster than you'd like. I’m just content and calm, right? Clearly something is happening to me on a deeper level. If I like you and want to be liked by you, that does not automatically mean I’m phantasizing a future with you. You might even be trying to fix the situation only to watch it get worse and worse (or at least, not get any better). Desperation. I meet up with the guy for our first real date and instead of feeling excited, all I see are his bad qualities. It is the loss of interest in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities. Thanks ! They can’t be happy by themselves and persevere in seeking someone to brighten their loneliness. I’m like a dog who chases an ambulance. The way you worded things made me laugh, as you really show how childish the whole "chase" part of it is. Please enlighten me.” 11. I'm 25 now and I hate myself so much. Celebrities You Didn’t Know Were LGBTQIAP+, Confessions of a Ladies Man: If They Cook for You they are Falling in Love, What I learned today about God that I think I knew for some time. You can say, “I’m not sure where you’re at emotionally right now. I think personally I'm just scared of getting attached and then getting my heart broken.. because you like the challenge or you're afraid of commitment. BANG! Ah, I keep telling myself that, but it's hard not to get discouraged. I feel like I'm wasting good relationships but this always happens someone please help, Well I wish it wasn't like that but it is, I honestly have no logical reason besides the fact that some girls minds work like that. How to Get His Attention Back Without Seeming Desperate. However, when he actually reciprocates my feelings and wants to date me, I’m suddenly completely over him. You wanted them to chase you and you them but they just went for it and didn't play the little game that all girls & boys play where one chases the other, but once one of them loses interest, the other one backs off and tries to spark that interest again which leads us back to square one. I have no idea what my deal is, but I'll keep what you said in mind. …they don’t want to see you anymore. #1 She met someone else. 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